Following her heart-lung transplant, several days of recuperation in the hospital were required followed by at-home recuperation. Five days following her operation, Clair became deeply depressed. This seemed to counter the process of getting on a wait-list, being chosen for a transplant, successfully coming through a long operation, feeling stronger than at any previous time of her life, and appreciating the miracle of life that she had received. What overwhelmed her were the transitions in her life; no oxygen tanks, not being confined to her bed, feeling physically strong. She was now riding an exercise bike thanks to someone else’s heart and lungs.
This last statement may be the crux of her problem; a feeling of guilt that she was alive and doing well because someone else had died. This seems to be a common reaction at some point for many receiving transplants. Her doctor didn’t believe in psychologists to deal with post-op depression. Clair had to focus on adapting to a new and healthy life by just living it. Thankfully some of her friends introduced her to groups who had undergone similar experiences. Sharing stories helped Clair put things into perspective.
Three and a half weeks later, Clair was released from the hospital, taking up residence at a nearby condominium. No longer in any health danger, it was time for her to learn to live a normal life. A farewell party at the hospital launched her into her new life. The date was likely to be April 3rd or 4th, 1988. Following is the Return chart for March 27, 1988.
Most notable in this t/Moon-to-n/Sun Return in the 11th house of the future is n/MC at the IC angle; the book gives the following, Choices to make changes, to modify a plan or one’s image, making a new start for the future. This fits with the placement of the t/Moon-n/Sun in the 11th. Note also t/Chiron at the MC. This doubles-up the MC symbolism and indicates a total change in life’s goals and basis of strength. Along with the t/Chiron at the MC we have note t/Part of Fortune is opposing n/Chiron, another ‘doubling up.’ t/Uranus in the 4th opposes n/Venus in the 10th; an exhilarated sense of balance and harmony in one’s life. n/Neptune at the Asc. opposite t/N.Node-Desc. is interesting. Neptune is often associated with a holiday, a marriage, a happy time when at the horizontal axis. This is a happy chart!
Getting used to living and moving without first thinking about what she was doing was a big step. She could bend, twist, walk, sit and eat without hesitation. This took some getting used to. Then came the first disquieting moment. She found a liking for certain foods that she never indulged in prior to this point. Chicken nuggets and beer! Another factor emerged. Her personality was changing. She was becoming more masculine in some ways; more aggressive and assertive, a stronger form of walking and striding. A new level and type of confidence was experienced.
Let us look at her Advanced chart for leaving the hospital to live on her own.
In the several days since the Return chart, the MC has advanced to contact n/Venus. The IC angle has advanced to contact the opposing t/Uranus. The ‘happiness’ factor is highlighted. Note t/Mercury on the Desc., news and travel-movement can be linked to this pattern — the move to her nearby condominium. These angular placements form the basis for our chart evaluation for this date: Happiness and moving. Secondary patterns include t/Sun-opp-n/N.Node (the is advised by another), t/Moon-t/Pluto in the 2nd (a total change in her feelings and routine), and t/PoF square n/Mercury-n/Chiron (change in how one sees her medical condition). We always look at t/Sun, t/Moon and t/PoF in an Advanced chart even if they are not angular.
Clair soon left the condominium and returned home to the Boston area. She had a very unusual dream. I quote, in part, “I’m in an open, outdoor place with grass al around . . . with me is a young man who is tall, thin, and wiry, with sandy-[colored hair. His name is Tim — I think it’s Tim Leighton, but I’m not sure. . . I start to walk away from him, but I suddenly feel that something remains unfinished between us. . . I return. Then we kiss, I inhale him into me. It feels like the deepest breath I’ve ever taken, and I know that Tim will be with me, forever.” Clair knew that the young man in the dream was the donor.
It is on this theme that future posts will build upon.